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Product details
File Size: 1418 KB
Print Length: 115 pages
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers (May 15, 2009)
Publication Date: May 15, 2009
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B00CQ8NTMU
Text-to-Speech:
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#51,746 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
Where do I begin? I'm still navigating through this as my husband was just recently diagnosed with AS. This is just my opinion and how I felt about it. I found this booking depressing. By the end of it I was more confused than in the beginning. Not in these exact words, but in the last few pages the author says oh well if nothing works and you get dumped you need to forgive him. Really? I have dated more men in my life than I care to count, but did they all have AS or were they just jerks? I understand the symptoms are many and if you decide to embark in this kind of relationship, you will deal with all kinds of behavior issues, but you need to draw the line somewhere. The author seems to give one excuse after another for bad behavior. My husband would never treat me the way those men in this book treat women. Some non AS guys from past relationships would. It pretty much tells you that you need to mother your Aspie partner to preserve your sanity and be his/her doormat for life. It takes work, I get it. This book is not connecting the dots for me, sorry.
This book is extremely accurate. There are probably a couple chapters that can be dismissed per any particular aspie, but 90% is applicable to most. I've been with my aspie fiance for 3+ years now. I've known about Asperger's from the beginning and knew the relationship would be a challenge. I wish my research at the beginning had brought me to this book. It has been a long, grueling, emotional journey to discover pretty much every tip in this book. It was more an affirmation of everything I've been through and that I'm not alone. However, if I had some of the strategies for coping at the beginning instead of learning slowly, after being hurt (a lot), I would've been much better off. My recommendation for anyone wanting to learn what your relationship would be like if you dated an aspie (after those first few glorious months where you are his current obsession), this is the book for you. If you've been in a relationship for a while and you are expecting this book to be the magic answer for you, you will be disappointed. Aspies can change behavior in very slow increments over time, but the expectation that you can change something about them leaves you disappointed more often than not.I will say, dating an aspie is not for everyone. A relationship with an aspie is NOT fulfilling in the traditional sense of what you'd expect from a relationship (have LOTS of friends). But there are many benefits. There will be no one you trust more to fix things and fully research anything and everything you need and my aspie is the most honest, loyal man I've ever met (though him looking at other women was a challenge in the beginning, he did change it when my emotions FINALLY got through).
I was expecting a book that offered some "you are not alone" insights along side "this can be a positive journey" advise. The table of contents read like I had written it myself in describing the challenges I faced in a relationship with an AS partner. However, the book turned out to be very depressing. A laundry list of all that can go wrong. In the end I am more disillusioned and pessimistic than before I read it. Very disappointing :(. I do not recommend it.
I wish I had read this book before I fell in love with my fiance. After 2+ years with him, I could've written this book! It is so validating of what it's like to be a woman in love with an AS man, and equally heartbreaking that he's never going to change.
This book was short and easy, and sadly, helped confirm for me that the man I love has undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome. After spending months wondering "what was wrong," I began to wonder if this was the case. I read up on it on the internet, and then decided to buy this book. I'm glad I did. While internet articles seemed to be pointing me in the right direction, the detail and advice in this book went a long way towards making me understand the utter strangeness of oir relationship. It was comforting to begin to understand that there were very specific, clinical reasons for his behavior and seeming lack of feeling for me, despite what continues to be an obvious attachment to me. I have tried to not use this almost certain diagnosis as an excuse for what is (or rather, isn't) happening in our relationship; this book simply helped me to better understand everything about it, and has helped me in my eventual, broken-hearted realization that I cannot make this work. One last thought - While SO many of the 22 aspects mentioned in the book applied exactly to my boyfriend, there were several that didn't. And I did find myself thinking, "Gee, I'm glad he doesn't do THAT!" Haha.... So - if you have any thought that your man may have Asperger's, or if you already know - this book is a great, quick read that will be really helpful to you. It definitely was to me.
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